A Reflection on Mirrors

There are some places where you always expect to find the strange and the supernatural, such as an abandoned church graveyard or the murky bottom of a cold lake. There are some places where you never find the strange and the supernatural, such as the laundry detergent aisle at the Dollar Store or the toe of your second-best tennis shoes. There are some places you hope never to find the strange and the supernatural but that you sometimes may, such as a bus station bathroom or the back of the line at the DMV. And there are some everyday places where you may, just may, stumble into a shadowy realm of boundless infinity in your own home.

By this, I mean a mirror.

It is a fact well-known by distinguished scholars and proven through the scientific method that mirrors are frequently windows to alternate dimensions rather than true reflections of the world around us. Just a moment ago, I was staring into the hall mirror when I noticed that the reflection staring back at me was not my true reflection but a fat goblin, a pasty-faced beast in wrinkled clothes, dark circles under its eyes, spiky black hair jutting from the top of its head, snarling and drooling in a monstrous manner. I jumped back, horrified that I had glimpsed this creature from another dimension rather than a reflection of myself. What other nightmares might I glimpse in the depths of this portal? Fearful, I immediately shattered the mirror to destroy this dimensional vortex. Then, I had to haul the cursed object out, under the ladder by our doorway, barely missing my neighbor's black cat as it ran in front of me, knocking over the salt shaker on the table, and stepping on several cracks on my way down the thirteen steps to the trash can. Now, though, with that beastly vision out of my house, I know my luck will be changing for the better.

So what does this mean for you? Try it for yourself; get a mirror. If you don't have a mirror, check out the back of a spoon, or turn off your monitor and check the reflection in it. Do you see it? Is it yourself staring back at you, or is it some slimy, doughy creature with bloodshot eyes, puffy sinuses, and callouses on all of its fingers, desperately trolling the Internet for free porn and high school classmates that hated you then and would hate you even more now, especially after you managed to look through their bedroom windows via Google Earth? See what I mean? What? You quit reading when you turned off the monitor? Oh, uh, well, see? The power of mirrors actually made this blog disappear!!

Mirrors- not something to stare into lightly, or else you risk facing a life of terrifying gloom and sadness.

Welcome, Mortal Foolishness...

Within these dank and dusky hallways, we will explore together some of the most unexplained, most fear-inducing, most out and out creepy and kooky things in this world and the next, as well as any parallel, perpendicular, slaunch-wise, or just plain alternate universes out there. What, you say? You doubt the validity of the absurd? Well then, my friends with the suspicious minds, take my hand, watch your head and step (for the unexplained does a piss-poor job of building maintenance, and there are many places that you may slip on a mossy floor or hit your head on some low-clearance crypt while exploring these topics; now that you've been warned, however, know that my legal team says any falls are your own responsibility, so proceed with caution), and we will walk together into a world where sense and nonsense collide, where shadows cast shadows across still and empty rooms, where dogs howl in the night and there are no neighbors to complain or call animal control and have your beloved family pet taken away. No, together we will walk, hand in hand, through these corridors- what? Come on, now, please. It wasn't me that tried to touch your boob. Ok, I might have rubbed against it, but it was an accident, 'cause it's dark in here. Please, you don't have to yell!. Fine, then, get all attitudinal. Like I'd want to grab your flubbery old boob anyhow. Most likely, it was the icy grip of fear you felt, not me. Either we're gonna proceed down these cob-webbed passageways or you're gonna stand there whining about someone brushing against your boob? Fine, whatever, it's up to you. File a complaint with the EEOC, see if I care.

Anyhow, for the rest of us, let us proceed into the dark realm of mists and questions, of midnight and twenty minutes past midnight, of ideas both bad and good, and often stupid. In this blog, we will keep close together while we attempt to know the unknown, to explore everything from 'Aliens' to the 'Zipperump-A-Zoo". Sniff the stink of fear and wallow in the musk of mystery. Feel the chill of the unseen deep in your bowels. Just the fact that you have joined us here indicates you are not afraid of the dark. But now comes the real question; are you afraid of a flesh-eating zombie lurking in the dark? Together, we will discover the answers, or, at least, the questions.

What will you find as we search the shadowy world just beyond our vision? Let me give you a taste with a reality doubting example...

Stare at this blog for a solid 10 seconds. Are your retinas burning? Good. Now, turn your head or your computer monitor until you are in line with the edge of the monitor. Can you still see this blog? What? You can? Oh. Well, now, close your eyes. Can you still see this blog? That's right, you can't! Ooooh, it's gone! The entire blog disappeared with just the close of an eye, or eyes, for those of you who are not pirates. But did it exist in the first place? Was it a product of your overworked imagination? Or was it composed of nothing more than the wind through the old dead tree in the backyard your wife has been nagging you for two years to remove? Was this blog simply an echo of a voice from a distant time, a laugh in the night when nothing is funny, a pile of dust in the corner of a long empty church? You know that you saw it, but, as soon as you closed your eyes, it was gone. Now, as you may know, you have just entered the world of...

Unknown Mysteries of the Strangely Unexplained...

(Ok, you can all open your eyes now and go on about your business.)

(Alright, already, you can open your eyes and hit "Next blog". Hey! You! Wake up! Open your eyes! Blog posting over! Open your eyes! Wake up! Hey! Hey! How rude...post a blog and the reader falls asleep. Whatever. At least those of us who are awake will see when a chupacabra comes sneaking up on us. You fools who went to sleep, you're on your own.)